With the Force running through his veins, Akonne Wanliss has put his powers on full display, ranking his rivals in the ultimate Star Wars X Oktagon hierarchy.
On March 2, ‘The Jedi’ will compete in Season Two of ‘The Champions League of MMA’ — The Tipsport Gamechanger. So, with the biggest night of his life rapidly approaching, I went to the Renegade Gym in Birmingham and asked the fighter to place his opponents in five categories: Oktagon Master, Oktagon Padwan, Oktagon Youngling, Prelim Bounty Hunter and Jar Jar Binks. And unsurprisingly, the game produced some amusing results.
After putting Yoda in his rightful position as an Oktagon Master, Wanliss took aim at his arch-nemesis — Denis Frimpong.
Taking matters into his own hands, the Sci-Fi fanatic branded the Irish warrior a ‘doughnut’ before shockingly placing him below Jar Jar Binks, who he claimed would actually annihilate Frimpong in a real fight.
He fumed: “I’m trying not to swear, but what the f**k is Dennis Frimpong doing here? Who put this doughnut on here? Are you serious bro? I can’t believe you’d waste your ink on him. Anyway, let’s stick him down there. Jar Jar Binks has too much skill for him; he’d bang him in the cage.”
While the Oktagon Challenge villain isn’t currently scheduled to take part in the Tipsport Gamechanger tournament, Sahil Siraj certainly is — and he’s set to take on Wanliss in the opening round.
Akonne Wanliss fires shots in the Star Wars X Oktagon rankings
In a surprising turn of events, the Englishman actually showed his opponent a degree of courtesy, placing him in the Prelim Bounty Hunter category. Continuing the theme of positivity, Wanliss took one look at featherweight champion, Losene Keita, and opted to tell a wholesome tale.
He explained: “He spoke to me once and told me, ‘Anything is possible’. So, Losene Keita, I’m going to give you a little bit of respect and put you here as an Oktagon Padwan because you’re one with the Force; you’re trying to practice the ways of the Jedi.”
However, his words of positivity soon disintegrated as it came time to rank UFC veteran — Makwan Amirkhani.
Wanliss asserted: “In terms of the Force, I’m not sure he’s balanced. Amirkhani’s got a lot of Jedi practising to do. I’ll give him some respect because he’s been in the UFC and put him down as an Oktagon Youngling.”
But while Wanliss is convinced that the Finnish icon has a long way to go before he’s reached anywhere near his level, the British representative still holds him in a much higher regard than ex-KSW Champion — Daniel Torres.
The Brit claimed: “I don’t think he uses the Force too much; he’s going in Jar Jar Binks, just by the look of his face. He’s not on the level of a Jedi Master. I don’t even think he could hold a lightsabre.”
Akonne Wanliss is set to shine in the Oktagon Tipsport Gamechanger tournament
While the Oktagon lightweight title isn’t on the line in the tournament, the King of the Division, Ronald Paradeiser, remains a scalp that Wanliss would love to claim.
Placing the champion in the Padwan category, the Brummie beamed: “I don’t think he knows how to hold a lightsabre, but I see he’s got a nice Force push; his left hand comes in sharp. So, I think he’s been practising and learning, but he hasn’t quite mastered it yet.”
Attention then turned to a man ‘The Jedi’ would love to get his hands on in the cage — Hafeni Nafuka — who failed to make it to the upper echelons of the leaderboard.
Wanliss laughed: “They updated his record to 8-0, so he must’ve called out to Palpatine, and said, ‘Update my record’ so for that he can go as a Prelim Bounty Hunter.”
With his many rivals all dealt with, the only thing left to do was to place himself. And in a testament to his unrivalled connection with the Force, Wanliss transcended the ranking system, entering a whole new level of Jedi powers.
He beamed: “I’ve overtaken Master Yoda; I’ve actually defeated him, so we’re making a new category — Master Jedi. I am the Force itself.”
On March 2, the charismatic operator will put it all on the line in Ostrava, Czech Republic. With €1,000,000 at stake, Wanliss knows that the financial reward of winning the competition would be enough to buy all the Jaffa Cakes and lightsabres he could ever ask for, and is thus an opportunity that he can’t wait to grasp with both hands, making his match-up with Siraj a fight that fans can’t afford to miss.
Featured Image Credit: Oktagon MMA / Star Wars